


The cry of the living

by Winmance



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alpha Damen (Captive Prince), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Laurent (Captive Prince)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 17:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18898975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winmance/pseuds/Winmance
Summary: He watches as Laurent shows the children one of his own tricks, making them gasp in surprise, and flashes of what could be their lives soon start popping into his mind.





	The cry of the living

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to [servilesammy](https://servilesammy.tumblr.com/) who beta this work. I'm forever gratefull
> 
> There’s a part of the story that can be triggering for some people. You can go and take a look at the end notes to see it ;)

If Damen had to be honest, he would say that he hadn’t thought a lot about it, at first. 

They were getting used to their new lives, their new love and their new title. It was risky thing, to decide to marry someone you hated for so long, to acknowledge that the ghosts will always be here, between you two, like shadows that never left. Some days were harder than the others, somedays, Damen would look at Laurent and think about all the pain he went through because of him. All the things he took away from him, his brother, his father, his childhood, his innocence. Somedays, he would catch Laurent staring at his back, the guilt of having caused the scars readable on his face. 

But the rest of the time – The rest of the time was pure happiness, pure love. They would kiss, hold hands, talk for hours, work together, make love together, and somehow, it was never enough. 

They mated on their wedding night, like the tradition wants it to happen. Until the very last moment, he was afraid Laurent would tell him to back off, that he changed his mind and didn’t wanted to do it anymore. He would have understood it, respected it even. Being an omega is one thing, having an alpha is another. Through Damen swore him that they would always be equal, even going as far as signing papers that would make sure that Laurent wasn’t to be left behind, it was still a life changing decision. Once the mating is done, it cannot be undone. 

But Laurent didn’t back off. Instead, he asks for Damen to put his teeth on his throat, to mark him where everyone could see, before doing him the same to him, a proof of their devotion to one another. That night, they both gave themselves to one another, promising to be on the othesr side no matter what, to share a lifetime together and to support each other when needed. 

 

That’s why Damen is a little confused, when Laurent’s first heat hit him and he choose to lock himself in another room, refusing to see him. 

 

“Maybe you did something wrong.” Nikandros says, “Or maybe you don’t satisfice him.”

“Did he tell you that?” He asks, the thought of not being enough for Laurent sending shivers down his back. He didn’t do anything wrong, not that he can remember at least, and Laurent was doing fine before his heat. 

“Of course he didn’t, you stupid head!” 

“Then why would you say that?” 

“Because you’ve been crying like a baby for the past hour!” 

Damen rolls his eyes – an act he stole from Laurent – and poured himself another drink. 

“I should have you thrown in a dungeon for talking like that to your King.” 

“Yeah but who will listen to your moan if you do that?” Nikandros sighs before putting his hand on Damen’s arm, making sure to give his friend his whole attention. “Listen, maybe he’s just not ready to have a kid. I mean, if he let you in the room, there’s a good chance you will knock him up. The two of you are working hard to get the kingdoms unified; he still needs to prove himself to the people and  show them that he is neither a traitor nor a weak omega.”

“That… make sense.” 

“Of course it does. Now get your head out of your ass and stop whining. There’s four more days until you see him again.” 

He feels like an idiot, not to have think passed his own pride. Laurent is right (as always) and he probably would have told him his plan before if he had known he was close to his heat. It had taken them both by surprise and they didn’t have the time to discuss it ahead of time. Or maybe he wouldn’t have said anything, thinking that it was just common sense.  

Before going to bed that night, he made sure that the servant bought Laurent all of his favorite foods, as well as one of his book and one of Damen’s chiffon, just in case he missed his smell. Everyday, he made sure to make a summary of what happened during the day, and he was pleased to find notes and indications on what to do in his room every afternoon. 

He was also pleased to see that Laurent was once again right: people were already talking about him, about how, even in heat, he was taking care of the kingdom. In the span of one week, he had gained more respect than either of them could have expected. 

Four days later, Laurent was back in their bed like nothing happened, the smell on Damen’s chiffon the only proof that he even went into heat. 

  
  
  
  
  


“Here, love.” Laurent says, taking grapes from the stand in front of him and pushing it into Damen’s mouth, “Good, isn’t it?” 

“Delicious.” Damen replies, his cheeks turning a shy red as a result of Laurent’s action. They’re in the middle of the street among the people, and he can feel all  eyes on them. It was Laurent’s idea to come here, something about being see as accessible so everyone would know that they care deeply about their people. Through Damen couldn’t care less, never having needed a reason to take a walk in his city’s street. 

“Why don’t you make me taste it, then.” 

Damen frowns at first, not quite sure of what Laurent is expecting from him, before he sees him opening his mouth slightly. 

He smiles then, taking grapes to his mouth, Laurent’s wet lips brushing against his fingers and sending a shiver down his spine. 

“Delicious.” Laurent repeats with a wink. 

“Not as delicious as you are.” 

Laurent rolls his eyes in exasperation, but Damen can clearly see the beginning of a smile on his face. He’s about to lean for a kiss when he sees a woman approaching them, little kids running around her. 

“Pardon me, my Kings, but the children prepared a performance for you, if you would like to see it.”

The kids around her are sending them bright smiles, and even if he wanted, Damen wouldn’t have the heart to tell them no. 

They follow them to the village square, where more children are already waiting, and after making sure that their Kings are settled, they start performing their magic tricks. 

“We’ve heard you were quite fond of magic, my King.” The woman whispers to Laurent. 

Damen giggles next to him, which owns him a death stare from Laurent. 

Sometime during the show, the kids start coming to Laurent and asked him to be a part of it, which he indulges with a lot of kindness. 

It’s not the first time that he witnessed Laurent’s sweetness with children. He’s seen it multiple times now, the way he would act kinder than with anyone else, taking anything they would offer to him and giving them something in return. 

He watches as Laurent shows the children one of his own tricks, making them gasp in surprise, and flashes of what could be their lives soon start popping into his mind. 

“You’re good with children.” He says once they’re heading back to the castle. 

“I’m good with everything.” 

“Yeah, you are.” He laughs, “You know, seeing you with them today, it made me realize how eager I am for us to start our own family.” 

He expects Laurent to answer him, or at least smile, but instead, his face closed off completely, any emotions disappearing from it. 

Once the night as fallen, Damen’s approaches are welcomed by a frigid body, leaving him to sleep on his side of the bed, his mind trying to figure out what he did wrong. 

  
  
  
  


The next time it happens, they’re in the middle of a meeting with their advisor, the poor man screaming with all his lungs to make himself heard, only for each of his arguments to be crushed by Laurent’s answer. 

“Do as you wish.” The man says, collapsing back on his chair, knowing full well that he won’t be able to change Laurent’s mind any time soon. “But your children may suffer from this decision, once it’s their time to reign.” 

“We won’t have children.” Laurent replies calmly, as if he hadn’t spent the last two hours fighting with the man in front of him, “And I always do as I wish.” 

Damen’s blood runs cold at Laurent’s words, but he tries to keep a straight face, refusing to let it show. It’s like his whole world is crushing, the life he thought he would have disappearing in front of his eyes in a moment, the future he imagined so many times burning to ashes, and worst of all, the realization that their relationship isn’t as equal as he thought it was. He may be the alpha, but Laurent is the one making every decision, and there’s not a thing he can do about it. 

  
  
  
  
  


He doesn’t know why Laurent doesn’t want to have kids. He has a few theories, of course. 

The first one is that Laurent doesn’t want to be seen as inferior to him. It’s silly, of course, but even now people tend to see omegas as baby factories, and being pregnant would only confirm their doubts about his capacity to be a King. 

The second one is that he may be scared for their child’s life. After all they’ve been through, all the pain and treason they’ve suffered, it would make sense for him to be scared that the same thing will happen to their child. If they both were to die, there would be no one left to look out for their baby.  

The third one, and the one Damen tends to believe the most, is that Laurent doesn’t want to have a child with him. Perhaps a part of Laurent is still angry about Auguste’s death, about the pain he went through because of him, and even if he loves him, having a baby with him may be too much. Maybe he doesn’t want to violate what is left of Auguste memory, to have a child that would look both like his brother and the man who killed him. 

“Why are you staring so hard,” Laurent says, dropping the book he had been reading and walking toward Damen, sliding between his open legs, “when you could be kissing me instead?” 

“I’m admiring the view.” He replies, tucking Laurent’s hair behind his ear, “Do you know how much I love you?” 

“I do. You love me almost as much as I love you.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He honestly thought it was a good idea. Nikandros told him that it wasn’t, going as far as calling him an idiot, but he sticks with it. He doesn’t want  Laurent to be bereft of any sort of happiness because of him, not ever. 

So he waits until  the right moment, which appears to be before bed,  with Laurent’s head resting on his chest  like a pillow , ready to fall asleep at any  moment. 

“You know, we could use a different alpha.” He proposes, “You could choose him, and he could come in here.”

“You want to invite a man  into our bed?” Laurent frowns, straightening himself. 

“Well, I mean, there’s  not really another way to do it.” 

“Doesn’t I  satisfy you anymore?” 

“What? Of course you do!” He hurries to say, “But I know… I know you don’t want to carry my child, Laurent, and  I’ve thought about it . A lot. I don’t care if the child is mine or if it isn’t. As long as it’s yours, I’ll love it with all my heart.” 

“You want…” Laurent stops, his jaw clenching furiously. “I won’t be some stranger cum dumpster just because you want a child, Damianos. If you want one so badly, I suggest you go to someone else. I’m sure plenty of people  would be willing to give you a child.” 

He gets up from the bed, covers his naked body with the first piece of cloth that falls under his hand, and storms out of the room without any more words. 

Maybe he should have  listened to Nikandros. 

  
  
  


He’s not sure why he  woke up. The sun is still not up,  there’s darkness surrounding the room, and not a sound can be heard, not even the discreet footstep of the servant preparing their breakfast, another sign that he should be sleeping. The spot next to him is still empty, Laurent having  not returned from wherever he went off to. But he can feel a presence in the room, not far from the bed. Someone is here. 

“It’s just me.” Laurent says, breaking the silence. 

He breathes out, relief spreading through him only to be quickly replaced by guilt. 

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry we didn’t  understand each other.” 

“I’m your husband and your omega. I should give you an heir.” 

“No, Laurent, it’s not that. I don’t want a child to have an heir, nor do I want a child just to…  have it. I wanted… I don’t know. For you to be happy. For us to have a family.” 

“I told you before, my line ends with me.” 

“You said a lot of things, before. Some of them happened to change over time.” 

“Not this one.” 

Damen sighs, knowing that he is not to win this argument.  Truth is, he would  rather have  Laurent hating him than hating himself.

“Come to bed, my love.” 

Only a few seconds  pass before the sounds of Laurent can be heard, and as soon as he is reachable, Damen  puts his arms around his waist and pulls him against his chest. 

“I simply wanted your happiness. Nothing more. I don’t care if we don’t have a child together, as long as it is what you want. We can always  name someone as our heir when the time comes.” 

“But you want a child.”

“I want you to be happy more than I want anything.” 

When Laurent doesn’t say anything more, Damen concludes that the conversation is over, and he starts falling back asleep, his hand caressing Laurent’s shoulder gently. 

He knows Laurent is about to speak before he even  opens his mouth. He knows it’s important when he feels him  shaking slightly in his arms. 

“I was pregnant, once,” Laurent begins, “I was fourteen, and I couldn’t… I kept thinking _this_ _is my_ _uncle’s_ _child. This is him, inside of me, growing, spreading like a disease,_ I didn’t… I didn’t want it in me, I felt disgusting, dirty, even more than I used to, but I couldn’t go to Paschal. Or to anyone. He would have known, he always knows. So I…” He paused, refusing to let his voice break down more than it has already begun to.

Damen wants to tell him to stop. To tell him that he doesn’t need to say anything else, that he could have stopped right at the beginning, and he wouldn’t have  pushed for more. But he doesn’t. Instead, he listens to Laurent, knowing that this is what is  expected from him. 

“There’s only a few books talking about it and only one saying how to do it.” Laurent continues “There was so much blood, so much…  but I kept telling myself that death was a better option than keeping it inside me. That at least I would see Auguste again, and my father and mother. I was alone in my room, on the floor, a piece of tissue in my mouth so I wouldn’t scream.  It hurt. More than I thought it would, more than what was  written in the book. I should have taken something for the pain, but I wanted to have my mind clear. I passed out at some point  and then I woke up and I just…  cleaned everything.” 

“Laurent, I-”

“I went to Paschal a few years after, when I knew I could trust him.” He says, “I knew something was wrong but I wanted to be sure.  Truth is, I didn’t even care at first. I never dreamt of children, not for a long time at least. Then I  fell in love with you and everything  changed . I went back to him, asked him if he could do something, but I was too damaged. Still am.” Slowly, Laurent turns  toward him, and even through he can’t see him in the darkness of the room, he can almost hear the tears  falling from  his face. “I want to give you a child, Damianos. I want it, more than anything. But I can’t. I took that away from us. I took this happiness away.” 

“You didn’t.” He hurries to say, taking  Laurent’s hands in his. His own tears are running freely  down  his face, but he doesn’t care. All he can think about is the pain Laurent went through, the anger he had  towards his uncle and the fact that even dead, he still has a way to hurt them both. “You didn’t  take anything away from us, Laurent. You were brave and you did what you had to do.” 

“Don’t you understand, Damen? I can’t give you a child. I knew that, and I still  agreed to be your husband, to be your mate. I should have  told you before we  got married. I should have  given you a chance to be happy.” 

There’s anger raising through his voice, as if he was expecting Damen to hate him for it, to resent him, like he  hates himself. 

“Don’t ever  say that you took happiness away from me. You make me happy like no one else ever  has or ever will . I would have  married you in a heartbeat, even if I had  known .” 

“You say that now, but maybe you would have changed your mind if you had been given a choice.” 

“No,  I wouldn’t have. You can’t carry our child, I understand that. But I believe- I believe a child is more than blood. It is love, hard work, devotion, acceptance. I don’t care if our child doesn’t look like us, I only want  us to raise him together, to share our love with him, I want us to make him happy and for him to make us happy back.” 

Laurent is quiet after that, and if Damen  hadn’t been holding his hands, he would have thought  he left the room. 

“People will talk.” He simply says.

“People always talk.” 

“We could…  we could use another beta or omega, ask them to-”

“No.” He says immediately. “I won’t bed someone else. I won’t be able to love a child knowing that I cheated on you to conceive it.”

“It wouldn’t be cheating.”

“It would. For me.” 

“You wanted me to do it only a few hours ago.” 

“It’s different. I thought I was the reason you didn’t  want to have a child.” 

“What? Why?”

“I- It doesn’t matter. What  matters is that I know the truth now.” He frees one of his  hands and  lifts it to Laurent’s hair, caressing  him gently. “I don’t care about having a child, Laurent . You’re the only thing I care about.” 

He expected Laurent to stay silent for a moment, or to simply drop the subject, but instead, he breaks down crying, his body collapsing in Damen’s arms and holding on  to him as if he was the only thing  keeping him alive. 

The last time he saw Laurent crying was after  Nicaise’s death, and it was not nearly as bad as this, only one tear running down his face. He wonders how long he had been turning this  over in his head, thinking about the way Damen would react, about what he would say or do. 

So he  holds him tight, all night long, until exhaustion  takes both of them away ; when they wake up in the morning, they make slow love, reassuring each other through their  movements , the weight of  secrets not holding them back anymore. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“I should  go into heat in the next few days.” Laurent says, “Could you make sure to check on the new merchandise once it arrives? “ 

“How do you do  that ?” 

“You open the boxes and you make sure everything is inside?” 

“No, I mean. Your heat. How do you…  satisfy yourself?” 

“Oh.” He replies, his cheeks turning a light red. They’ve been married for over a year now, but Laurent’s heats are still something forbidden for him. “I have… toys.” 

“Toys?” 

“Yes.”

“Maybe…  maybe I could stay with you? I miss you when you’re not here and I read that  omegas and  alphas are supposed to get through the heat together.” 

“I miss you too.” He admits, “My body is calling for you, during  the heat. It’s hard not to have you inside of me.” 

“My body is always calling for you.”

“ Heats are quite intense, you know that?” 

“Is  that a challenge?” 

“No, but maybe you would like to warm yourself? See if you can handle it?” 

He barely  finishes his sentence before Damen is throwing him  onto the bed, a deep laugh escaping Laurent’s lips as he does so. If they both arrived half an hour late to their meeting, the reason why is  no one’s business but their own . 

  
  
  
  
  


Heats are intense. It’s sweaty, messy, wet and exhausting, but there’s  no place Damen would rather be. He spends half the day making love to Laurent, fucking him in all  ways possible , letting him take whatever he wants from him, and when they’re done, he takes care of him and  sleeps with his cock still inside of him. They still use the toys, through he’s almost sure Laurent never thought  before about using them the way they do now. 

  
  
  
  


After that, they  spend all of Laurent’s  heats together, cherishing the moment and seeing it as an opportunity to be alone together for a whole week without having to care about anything else. 

  
  
  
  


Damen waits anxiously in front of their bedroom door, fighting against the urge to simply burst  in . He doesn’t know why he  listened to Laurent and left the room in the first place. He should have  stayed . Who cares if he ends up being sick  too ? He needs to be by Laurent’s side. 

They were travelling back to Vere when Laurent started to  get sick. Of course, it may have  started before and he simply kept quiet about it for all Damen knows. They were in the middle of their morning cuddle when Laurent complained about his stomach, only to turn around and throw up all over the floor. They didn’t  take Paschal with them, choosing instead to take his new apprentice, but Laurent refused his services, claiming that Paschal is the only one that he trusts with his health. 

They had to wait three days before being able to see him, during which Laurent state  switched from ok to awful in a matter of minutes. 

“Is he ok?” He hurries to ask as soon as he  sees the door opening. 

“ He will be.” Paschal says, a smile on his face. “I’ll leave you alone. He needs to rest.” 

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t leave the bed anytime soon.” He promises, sitting on the chair next to the bed. “What do you have? Is it bad?” 

“No, it’s not. Quite the opposite, to be  honest .” 

“What? What do you mean?” He frowns, not following  Laurent’s reasoning. How could being sick be a good thing? 

“I… It appears that I wasn’t –  that I’m not as  damaged as we thought I was.” 

“I don’t follow you.” 

“I’m pregnant.” 

“You’re…  what ?” He asks again, his heart beating too  hard for him to comprehend everything. “But Paschal said –  he  said you couldn’t.” 

“He said it was nearly impossible. I should have  known better. Impossible is not a word that seems to be in your vocabulary.” 

“We’re having a baby.” He says, ignoring Laurent words. 

“There’s still a chance that I lose it, Damen. It’s a risk that we cannot ignore.” 

“No, you won’t. Because I’m gonna take care of you and forbid you  from  stressing.” 

“We have a kingdom to run. We can’t escape stress.” 

“Watch me.” 

Laurent smiles, finally, and Damen  leans in to kiss him before  resting his forehead against his. 

“We’re having a baby.” Laurent repeats. “I never thought… I buried that dream a long time ago. I  should have known by now that you have a tendency of resurrecting them.” 

“Can we agree that it  means I have a magic cock?” 

“Perhaps you don’t want this to be your reaction when  we tell this story to our child.” 

They  laugh , the euphoria of the moment taking over until  neither of them is able to  breathe . Damen can already picture their future, and it’s full of  moments like this, the two of them laughing with their child next to them. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


As Paschal  predicted ,  Laurent’s pregnancy is far from easy. He gets pain, a lot of pain, that leaves him clenching  his teeth and  crushing Damen’s hands. He cannot sleep properly, cannot walk freely and has so  much discomfort that Damen is getting more and more worried with  each day that goes by. He doesn’t stop working, of course. Everyday, Damen has to bring him the news, uptdate him on what is going on, and Laurent  makes the decision from the bed that he isn’t  allowed to leave after he hits seven months. Damen wishes he would simply rest and stop working, but he quickly  understands that it allows him to think of something  besides the pain, so he makes sure to tell him everything, even going as far as planning a meeting in their room. 

  
  
  


When he  goes into labor, Damen is right next to him, holding his hand and encouraging him as  best he can. Not for the first time, he wishes their roles were  reversed and he was the omega. 

Laurent doesn’t scream, refusing for the whole castle to hear him even after everyone  assures him that he should let it go and no one could have guessed a baby was coming until they heard his first scream echoing through the room. 

“He’s perfect.” Damen whispers as soon as Paschal put their newborn son on Laurent’s chest, “Look at him. He’s so…  little .” 

“Hello, my love.” Laurent says, holding the baby’s hand in his own , “I’ve dreamt of this moment for so, so long.” 

“Welcome to this world, Adeem.” 

 

Maybe the ghosts will always be here with them but now, the living are lourder. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope nobody was triggered by the abortion part. I couldn't put it in the tags since it would have give too much of the story. 
> 
> Also, Adeem is supposed to mean "A rare or precious person".
> 
> I'm on Tumblr [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/winmance), come and say Hi !


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